Night Train: A Mr Blank tale (Chapter 1)

Night Train: A Mr Blank tale (Chapter 1)

 

(A little rough preview of the next Mr Blank book, hopefully coming out next year… Hope you enjoy – OJ)

 

Welcome to the asshole of nowhere. Population? This fucking idiot.

I don’t like to admit I’ve made a mistake, but let’s be honest, this is pretty high on the list.

Then again, you’d make the same if you were in my shoes. I mean, I can’t exactly be accused of having rational thought right now, heh.

In fact, rationality went out the Goddamn window when I woke up in the desert, all kinds of messed up. No tongue to speak with, no fingertips to point with, and with a skin condition best described as ‘fucked’. Yep, the standard life was scoured clean from me a long time ago, which is probably why my mind isn’t exactly making sound, logical decisions.

Mr Blank, King of the Fucked. Ask me how you can become a violent amnesiac with the body to match.

Hmm. Continue reading “Night Train: A Mr Blank tale (Chapter 1)”

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To Be Observed (part 1)

To Be Observed (part 1)

(I started writing this as a short story, then realised it would spiral into something more befitting of a novella. Lovecraft inspired, with a hint of paranoia infused within. More than likely going to be the meat of Filmic Cuts 6. Hope you enjoy – OJ)

I write these words on some old scraps of paper provided to me by Fez, an orderly who has taken a slight pity on my plight and who, I dare say, sees me as one of the few people in the God forsaken place who treats him as an equal rather than an immigrant. He is a good young man, very pleasant, and who I would heartily recommend to Dr Friend to be seen for a better position in due course.

That brief tangent aside, I am writing to explain to you – whoever may read this – about my aforementioned situation. You see, my life was very different not too long ago, but like many who venture down life’s strange alleyways, I find myself at the edge of sanity and close to worlds unknown.

Continue reading “To Be Observed (part 1)”

Wrapped Up In Nothing: A Mr Blank yarn (Chapter 1)

Wrapped Up In Nothing: A Mr Blank yarn (Chapter 1)

(The beginning of the Mr Blank saga, which is now available to pre-order on Kindle, presented here in its earliest form. If you like pulp-style noir, then this is for you. Enjoy – OJ)

I woke up in Hell.

At least, that’s how it felt. First thing that hit me being searing heat, the kind that pokes and scratches at ya like a hungry dog. I mean, damn, I felt like I was slow roasting in an oven just in time to be served up. Turn me over buddy, I’m done.

Anyway, the heat was the first thing I felt. The second was the pain.

Now, it weren’t one of those screaming kinda pains. Nope, this was a dull pain, you know the kind. The one that ain’t making you shovel pain pills down your throat, but sure lets you know it’s there. Making sure it’s just discomforting enough for you to not sit so pretty. A slow, damp throb that jabs and pulsates under the skin. It ain’t happy with you, brother, and it’s gonna keep letting you know.

That pain, I felt everywhere. My whole body. Head to toe.

I’d soon find out just why that was. Continue reading “Wrapped Up In Nothing: A Mr Blank yarn (Chapter 1)”

Kirk Sandblaster Faces TETRAGEDDON

Kirk Sandblaster Faces TETRAGEDDON

Let’s talk about finance.

No wait, where are you going? Come back! What, you think this is going to be a boring speech on the intricacies of fiscal matters and currency trading? Well, you couldn’t be further from the truth. Why, when talking about the rich, wonderful history of Universia’s single currency, you’re not just talking about fiscal matters and currency trading, you’re also talking about budget consolidation, tax adjudication, and the finer art of intergalactic investment economics.

As you can see, some real, rip-roaring stuff!

Hey! Wait right there! OK, I know when it comes to money, the only exciting thing is to spend it. But it really is true when I say that the history of Tetra credits – the sole currency that makes the whole of Universia go round – is full of interesting tales and facts. Why, just the other day, one was reminded of the legendary Gruta Xedicar, whose shrewd eye for numbers saved many planets a great deal of money on their Ship Insurance.

Where are you going? Continue reading “Kirk Sandblaster Faces TETRAGEDDON”

Kirk Sandblaster Plays the Game of Yloria (Chapter 1)

Kirk Sandblaster Plays the Game of Yloria (Chapter 1)

(OJ Note: To celebrate the forthcoming release of TETRAGEDDON, the 4th in the Kirk Sandblaster series, I’ll be posting the opening of the previous Kirk adventures thus far. Enjoy this opening from Game of Yloria…)

Space.

Spacey space. It really is quite spacious. I mean, consider this – it is the vast expanse of nothingness, populated by planets and galaxies and quadrants that are stupendous in size. So stupendous, that to even consider how big they were would make your frontal lobe sizzle and pop with the sheer volume you were considering.

So yes, pretty darn big.

But if that wasn’t enough, you then have space in between. Big, wide, open chunks of space. Because these planets aren’t close together, that would be utterly daft. Galaxies do not sit side by side, like some sort of cosy brood of Gii wild-hogs. No, these interplanetary orbs and swirls are separated by vast vistas of space. So, if your brain were able to comprehend the sheer mass of a planet, maybe even a galaxy, to then contemplate the amount of space there was? You’d more than likely implode.

Which, ironically, is what would happen if you went out into that space without the proper equipment. It’s just common sense really. Continue reading “Kirk Sandblaster Plays the Game of Yloria (Chapter 1)”

Kirk Sandblaster and the Ice Pirates of Llurr (Chapter 1)

Kirk Sandblaster and the Ice Pirates of Llurr (Chapter 1)

(OJ Note: To celebrate the forthcoming release of TETRAGEDDON, the 4th in the Kirk Sandblaster series, I’ll be posting the opening of the previous Kirk adventures thus far. Enjoy this opening from Ice Pirates of Llurr…)

“It sure is nippy…”

It sure was. You see, Kirk Sandblaster – rogue space adventurer, dashing fellow and loather of head-garments – was looking out toward a vista of pure, shimmering white. A white that could only be created by miles upon miles upon even more miles of ice, snow and general tundra. With this amount of frozen waste on show, it was only natural that there would be a lack of tropical degrees; the kind of warmth that’d make you break out the shorts and sip on a nice, cool Ctolian juice. Instead, there was a breeze so chilly, it could flash-freeze a ball of molten plasma.

This all meant that, yes, it sure was nippy. Biting, in fact. Thermals were more than required, they were a necessity.

Luckily, as he stood gazing out into the grand, snowy vista ahead of him with fists on hips, Kirk Sandblaster was clad in the finest Horgorian furs that Tetras could buy. Although, in this case, they were less acquired through a monetary transaction and more from an illegal game of Brellian Snapdragon, a complex card game with rules so complex is was far easier to cheat.

Kirk Sandblaster had cheated, and now he stood as close to cozy that he could get, with severe frost tingling the fabric. In many ways, he was a man who prepared well.

In many other, more accurate ways, he was a cunning thief.

Either or. Continue reading “Kirk Sandblaster and the Ice Pirates of Llurr (Chapter 1)”

The Turbulent Love Life of Luke Jones – Chapter 1

The Turbulent Love Life of Luke Jones – Chapter 1

Let me tell you a love story.

It’s your standard boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy asks to marry girl, ancestor from the future informs boy that by marrying girl, he ends the world.

Ok, so maybe not your standard love story…

Anyway, it all begins in a small park in a quaint English town, where the streets are home to markets and the people wash their cars in the hopes of invoking rainfall. For now, the sun was shining in between the intermittent haze of cloud, and Luke Jones stood across a small river, with his friend Neil. Continue reading “The Turbulent Love Life of Luke Jones – Chapter 1”