Welcome to Anton Court (Deep Down There)

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Anton Court, the setting for Deep Down There, by Eli Allison.

Pre-order Deep Down There through Unbound.

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Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 16)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

Xdian’s, it should be noted, while absolutely dumb to an almost impressive degree, are very handy with blunt instruments. So handy in fact, that when it comes to advanced weaponry, they’re just so stupid enough to be able to re-arm it again.

Not to a lethal degree, of course. Martian technology is far too advanced for that sort of re-adjustment. But the wonders that can be done with a few sharp blows from a heavy instrument and some left over cillinium. It can bluntly remove any sort of safety measures in place, and leave you with something that can pack enough of a punch for you to wake up and wonder where the week went.

They hammered everything from laser pistols, which left a nasty mark, to “Boomers” which could rock a small district and maybe dislodge a few mid-sized trinkets. But their Trailblazer Missiles were their main export. Designed to disable spacecraft, with a little bit of Xdian denting they maintain their impressive speed while also adding a blind, explodey quality when making contact. All semblance of subtlety is removed, replaced by a pretty little BANG. Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 16)

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 15)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

Now that the Gas Planet had a GAF wreckage at its core, the treasure hold was now flung far out of its orbit and free to float in the big mystery of deep space. If it had thoughts, which of course it hadn’t but stick with us here, then it would consider the magnitude of possibilities it now had at its disposal. It would think of all the exotic planets it could fly past, observing it from a deity-like level of perspective. It could encounter strange life-forms, as they flew past it and knew nothing of what it contained. It could just be a simple, unidentified treasure hold, without any of the pressures that came with being a planets nucleus and containing lots and lots of fortune.

Unfortunately for the treasure hold, which definitely wasn’t sentient, Kirk Sandblaster and his Zaarian sidekick Xlaar knew it contained treasure, so during its few fleeting moments of independence, it found itself grabbed by the four beefy arms of the Bounty’s co-pilot.

On board, Sandblaster was celebrating. Once again he had defied the perils the galaxy threw at him, past treacherous gamblers, mega-suns and hostile bar members. Right now, Cartereli ale in hand and feet aloft, he felt pretty good. Everything was coming up Sandblaster. Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 15)

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 14)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

On the other end of the communications link up with their pursuers, the Ghurians were getting restless.

“Finally! Treasure! Where treasure?”

“Look, you can’t just have treasure.” Sandblaster went about explaining, “You must earn treasure, and sometimes that requires some back story.”

“TREASURE!” The Ghurians roared back, their voices crackling due to the excessive volume.

“Are you not enjoying the tale?”

“… yes.”

“And if I told you there were further twists?”

The Ghurians stayed silent, scolded like petulant children which to be honest, was the level of their intelligence.

“I thought so.” Sandblaster smugly said to himself, leaning back in his chair. Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 14)

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 13)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

“I thought you didn’t fear anything?” Xlaar asked, faintly amused at Sandblaster’s nervous reaction to the news of heading to the Dark Quadrant.

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you scared of going there?”

“I’m not.”

“Then why are you nervous?”

“Because… I need the loo.” Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 13)

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 12)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

“You wait a lot!” The Ghurians piped up.

Sandblaster couldn’t help but agree, but then to him waiting was the very nature of adventuring. For him, no true adventure simply came instantly. Sure, you could be a thrill-seeker who threw himself into the nearest danger and did his best to risk his life. And that did sound rather good. Very good, in fact. Sandblaster made a mental note to do this next time the opportunity arose.

But yes, while Sandblaster thrived on danger and adventure, he didn’t take stupid risks, despite his reputation. He wanted to explain to the Ghurians that he could have jumped in his spacesuit, dived out of the Bounty and defied the peril of finding a small map in the unforgiving tag team of space and giant asteroids. He could have done this, but for one problem.

He never bought a spacesuit. They were terribly unfashionable, and he didn’t want to be caught on camera looking less than dashing. Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 12)

Q&A at Jera’s Jamboree

“Let’s just say I was humbly ambitious…”

Oli was lucky enough to be featured on Jera’s Jamboree, where as well as Deep Down There, he discussed writing influences, the best/worst aspects of writing, and what he’s currently reading…

Read the whole thing by clicking below, and don’t forget to like Jera’s Jamboree on Facebook, and follow on Twitter.

http://www.jerasjamboree.co.uk/2018/04/horror-qa-oli-jacobs-deep-down-there.html

QA Jems Jamboree