Kirk-o-Pedia Entry 1B – Humans



Race:                                         Human

Planet:                                      Earth (Globa Quadrant)

Distinguishing Features:              Bipedal poise, bland humanoid features


The Human race believed themselves, for a very long time, to be the only source of “intelligent” life in the known galaxy. They were so certain of that, that they lived in near-decadence for thousands of millennia after successfully outliving their vastly more intelligent planetary ancestors, the Dinosaurs.

However, with the expansion of the “known” Universe (it should be noted that all quotation-marked words are based on Human beliefs, and long since disproved), the Humans found they were not quite the dominant race in the galaxy. In fact, their rather simplistic ape-like humanoid features and lack of any sensory abilities beyond the basic led them to be wildly mocked by the Universe as a whole. Over time though, the Humans displayed many advantages that they could hold over their fellow beings; illogic – yet effective – diplomacy, use of language manipulation, and the amazing way they could ingest minor amounts of toxins and still live. This practice, known as “drinking”, managed to scare some of the more war-like races such as the Rygans and the Xewians.


After their treaty with the Martians, who had studied the Humans for a long time beforehand, the Humans settled into a life of increased docility. This was down to 2 factors: the lack of destructive materials thanks to the Martians de-weaponising everything, and the discovery of a number of technologies that made their life easier. Much easier. So easy, in fact, that only 32% of Humans leave their house for longer than 5 Earth Minutes.


While most Humans have settled into this dormant state, many have relished the access that the Government of Universia has offered. They have embarked on many positions of power – politicians, GAF officers, entrepreneurs and adventurers. This expansion of assets across Universia means that the Humans are the most travelled of races, and also have caused the beginnings of new races thanks to their addictive pursuit of pleasure. Those who have a passion over something – be it religion, technology, or sport – have found these pleasures sated in extreme ways.


Despite this, they have been the cornerstone of the Universia Government, thanks to their dogmatic approach to laws and rules. In fact, not even the Wezzions can beat the Humans in sheer, manic, policy-making. This rigorous, and completely banal and confusing, approach to leading a government makes them a prime asset in holding Universia together. Both in Government, and the GAF.


Therefore, it should be noted that the Humans should be, in a minor way, respected. Yes, they are incredibly unassertive, and absolutely unable to defeat most races in combat (as long as you don’t agree to one of their “drinking games”), but they are very skilled in the art of manipulation, and make up a lot of the galaxy. From laws, to holo-shows, without the Humans, Universia would be a far more bland place.


Or more interesting. Scientists are still trying to work out exactly how beneficial/detrimental the Humans are. Most agree they are OK, if best left alone.


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