Kirk-o-pedia Entry 501C – Artemi Felldeckan



Name: Artemi Felldeckan

Race: Devallian

Known For: Primary Host of the Alpha Sports Network


Smoother than the ice on a Celtan giant, and twice as cool, Artemi Felldeckan puts all other Devallians to shame with his unique brand of enhanced wit, dazzling charm, and enough personality to make any female of the species swoon. This crimson-skinned smooth-talker is as slick as the antenna on his head, and always on hand to rattle off more verbiage than you can handle, making you want to listen. If he can’t sell it to you, it quite frankly can’t be sold.

Now most Devallians ooze charm (sometimes literally), but Felldeckan is blessed with an intense manner that amplifies that inherent talent. He fires off words like the GAF fire lasers, and shimmers along with each syllable. But he doesn’t sell spaceships, nor try to convince you to visit your nearest Grub Lord. No, Artemi Felldeckan is the lead announcer, prime-time host, and all-round go-to guy for Alpha Sports. He’s a sports nut with a knowledge that stretches from Human Soccerball, all the way to Rygan Smackpunch.


His upbeat attitude about anything competitive came from a lifetime spent absorbing each event he saw in his home on Devallia, and this has led him to his prestigious position today. Felldeckan is always on the Alpha Sports screen, be it telling you the fastest laps recorded in an Elejian race or grandmaster history of Mind-Chess. He’ll give you the who, where and why, all the while with a wide smile on his face and a quip flicked from his tongue.

When it comes to enthusiasm, Artemi Felldeckan can’t be beat. Not only is he the main event when it comes to Alpha Sports, he’s also a philanthropist, family man, and spokesperson for Yiffian Chews, giving his usual brand of bombastic charm even when eating. Basically, while Alpha Sports present the best in Universia sports, the cherry on this cake is a Devallian called Artemi Felldeckan. He’s the one with the jokes, the similies, and the facts.

After all, in his words: “you can’t say smart, without ol’ Art.”

(Remember, you can catch up on the adventures of Kirk Sandblaster by getting the books via Amazon or Lulu. As always, hope you enjoy – OJ)


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