(A little short from the pages of Filmic Cuts 2: Luchador Monkey Crisis. One that earned a few unexpected chuckles. I like it. Well, of course I do. I wouldn’t have wrote it otherwise. Anyway, hope you enjoy… – OJ)
Larry wasn’t happy.
In fact, it would be fair to say Larry was never happy. Nor did he have much reason to be. Life had dealt Larry a harsh hand. School had been a trial, work even more so. His love life was non-existent and his social life wasn’t hot to trot either. If Larry bet on red, it would come up black. All this bad luck led to Larry being quite heavily on the side of maudlin.
However the friends he did have, Brian and Tik, wanted him to be happy. They’d do everything they could to cheer him up, from evenings at the pub to days out to various fun places. However the pub visits would end for Larry with lost wallets, spilled drinks and mocking rejections from the fairer sex, and as for the days out… well nobody really mentions when Larry was left upside down on a roller-coaster.
But his two best friends were nothing if not determined. They had known Larry all their life and wanted the best for their chum. When Larry was invariably broke, some random bill appearing to strip his assets, they would meet up and discuss ways to increase Larry’s fortune. Along with friends Kay and Dick, they would drink heartily and wonder aloud.
“How do you cheer someone up with his luck?” Brian asked.
“Ice cream usually works for me.” Dick replied.
“You’re such a girl.” Kay said.
“How about we buy him a hooker?” Tik suggested, drawing strange looks from the others.
Their suggestions continued into the night, ranging from giving him a big hug to more outlandish ideas of hypnosis, usually from the slightly unhinged Tik. However one evening, around three pints in, one of his ideas took hold.
“Well what about we just, you know, wish upon a star?”
It may have been the beer talking, but the other three found themselves agreeing with Tik’s idea. A wish, a simple gesture lost in times of birthday cakes and dirty poultry bones, was innocent and easy enough for the four to invoke.
And so, with their livers full of Dutch Courage, they ascended to the highest point in town and looked out onto a cool, clear sky above. It was filled with bright shining stars that gazed back down upon them. It was decided, they would wish good fortune and happiness for their mutual friend/acquaintance Larry.
After a brief argument over what star to wish upon, with Tik dismissing Dick’s suggestion as being “a bit evil-looking”, they stood in a circle, held hands and looked up.
“We wish Larry happiness and good luck in the future.” They all said, as one, before letting go of each others hands.
And with that, they all retired to their respective beds and waited…
Sure enough, the next day Brian bumped into Larry and there was a noticeable difference in his friend. There was a spring in his step, a joy in his gait, a twinkle in his eye that once was dim.
“You OK Larry?”
“Never better! I had some good news!” Larry exclaimed, before launching into a tale so incredible Brian’s jaw nearly literally dropped off.
It seemed that on that morning, Larry woke, well-rested for the first time in his life, to the sound of a knocking at the door. The knocker was a postman, delivering a “very important letter” for him. The contents turned out to be a substantial cheque from a relative that Larry had never heard of until now. The figures nearly made Brian feel faint, but there was more to come.
“I went into work, feeling a bit better, and my boss saw my chipper mood and gave me a promotion!”
“Apparently I had the look of a ‘go-getter’! What’s best of all is I can work at home, on flexible hours!”
“Wow… what’s the job?”
“So… you get paid to surf the internet?”
So as well as being freshly minted and now a professional web-surfer, Larry’s fortune also included the phone number of a new girl at work, who shared all his tastes, ideas and quirks, and winning a holiday for 2 at the tropical resort of Banoi, all expenses paid. As Brian listened in astonishment, he couldn’t help feel fantastic for his friend Larry, and how everything was coming up in his favour.
But, after relating all his joy and glee, Larry’s face turned a shade of worry. When Brian asked, Larry said that he had a call from Tik. Wondering why he didn’t, Brian checked his phone to see that it had crashed completely, lacking signal or even a screen anymore.
As for Tik, he had been involved in a terrible and freak accident.
(To read the rest of Larry’s adventures, locate a copy of Filmic Cuts 2 for Kindle & Paperback today.)