Deep Down There – a new horror from Oli Jacobs

One morning, the resident of Anton Court wake up to find a 6-foot wide hole in their communal garden. It’s perfectly round, perfectly dark, and wasn’t there the night before…

As the days pass, the hole seems to grow, and the various mental tics of the residents come to the fore. Obsession, aggression, and determination override common sense, and soon enough they decide to see what is down the hole.

Then, the real horror begins.

Continue reading Deep Down There – a new horror from Oli Jacobs

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Interview: Too Many Words podcast

“Abortions for all!”

Oli returns to the brilliant writing podcast Too Many Words, something he has appeared on quite a few times before. This time, as well as iced buns and Simpsons quotes, he & Jayme talk plotting, analyzing TV shows, and problematic artists.

Listen on Stitcher, iTunes, Spotify, and Google Play, and like Too Many Words on Facebook & Twitter.

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Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 6)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

Frexia had its fair share of renegades who could help Kirk Sandblaster pilot a ship to the Outer Quadrants and beyond; despite the fact there was nothing actually beyond the Outer Quadrants. It was why they were called the Outer Quadrants. They were pretty much as far as space could go without going completely insane.

Or so Mad Bellax of Collia once said. But then all Collians were slightly mad.

There was no doubt that Sandblaster could buy one for cheap to boot. The wretched hive that existed within Frexia’s many Terraforms all lusted after the sweet embrace of a handful of Tetras, and right now he had more than that. The question was, were they competent? Trustworthy? The kind of being you could count on when the chips were down and your chews were salted to within an inch of their taste? Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 6)

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 5)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

While the shiny delights and wares of Terraform 43 were tempting for Kirk Sandblaster, and they were very tempting… with their shininess… oh so pretty…

Ahem.

After another hour of being tempted by the bright lights and verbose merchants, Sandblaster slapped himself about and focussed on the plan at hand. Rumours were abound that Frexia was home to a particular merchant who had a particular map that lead to a very particular treasure. A treasure that went beyond mere Tetras and shiny gems that were already around the planet. In brightly lit shops. Adorned with very reasonable prices… Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 5)

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 4)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

On the terraformed planet of Frexia, only lowlifes and vagabonds reside. While most planets had flourished due to the massive amount of Tetras, the agreed upon universal currency, that tourism from other beings had bought, Frexia had chosen the less-wise resources. Primarily, mind-spirits, chance games and… well, ask your father. He might know the rest.

Anyway, within this particular district, in this particular terraform zone on Frexia known as Terraform 43, there was a bar that had a notorious reputation across the planetary systems. The Paxion Arms, a mind-spirit joint signified by its logo featuring a rather delightful female with many arms and many…

Seriously, ask your dad. We’re not getting into this. Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 4)

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 3)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through AmazonLulu – OJ)

 

Once the Great Peace was implemented on Earth, the wonders of the galaxy were unlocked for them to explore. There, the noble Humans encountered many strange and exotic beings and species, all of which had been touched by the tinkering hands of the Martians. Therefore, they had also lost any semblance of violent intent and instead any aggravated behaviour was usually just done with stern looks and mad flailing of the arms. In some instances, this worked in scaring the Humans.

However, history was not built on running away. It was built on war and plunder, grit and determination. But seeing as the Great Peace swept across the newly discovered Quadrants like a rather nasty Flexian Flu, the likes of the Humans did the next best thing.

They bought about a system of government. Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 3)

Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 2)

(Welcome to the ongoing serialisation of Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer, the first in the Kirk Sandblaster series of sci-fi comedy books. In these tales, we follow cock-sure Kirk Sandblaster as he travel the Universe looking for adventure with his alien side-kick, Xlaar.

You can buy the whole book – and the series so far – through Amazon & Lulu – OJ)

            Back in the shiny days of the year 2012, Earth had regained its spirit of adventure. In the very, very past, it had looked to the skies and thought to itself, “Yes, I want a piece of that.” So they threw dogs and monkeys and the odd Austrian up into the stratosphere to see what they would find. More often than not, it was simply more space.

Although the dogs did have a good root around. They had a motto you see: There’s No Bones Like Space Bones.

There never were any space bones. Continue reading Kirk Sandblaster: Space Adventurer (Part 2)

Welcome to Universia…

When Earth made first contact with “alien” life, little did it know that hundreds of years later the Universe would be one, inter-connected government, and that the word “alien” would be considered a slur.

This is not just the world of Universia, but the many, many worlds, all of which end up taking part in the story of our hero. The debonair, cock-sure, adventure-addict Kirk Sandblaster. Orphaned at a young age, and raised in the Galactic Army Force, Sandblaster now travels the Universe looking for all sorts of derring do. By his side is Xlaar, a hulking, two-headed lizard beast in powerful body-armour, who is now an outcast from his home planet Zaaria. Continue reading Welcome to Universia…